When it all comes down to it, people are all pretty much the same. We all want to be safe, we want to be fed, and we all want that pat on the back at one time or another.

While humans are all innately alike, we also tend to be territorial, drawing our own lines in the sand.

Familial and cultural differences are powerful ways that we distance ourselves from other groups of people. And while it's unfair to stereotype or categorize a segment of society, we do it all the time.

Texans drawl, New Yorkers are belligerent and pushy. Californians are all a bunch of fruits and nuts. Or for an updated version, try this: California - By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.

It's apparent that we often separate ourselves by using state borders as a guideline. I'm writing this to defend my adopted home. Before moving to California, I had preconceived notions about living in a state where the fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.

"Californians," according to Phill Casaus, The Tribune's editor, "are of another country." Thanks, Phill.

And all you New Mexicans think you have it bad with "One Of Our Fifty Is Missing." I'm glad Casaus invited me to contribute to this column; it provides an opportunity to offer up the perspectives of New Mexicans living in a foreign countries (or California) by using insight, outta-sights and just plain old different points of view.

New Mexicans discuss red or green. Californians debate smog or fog.

The Land of Enchantment has its Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta. California boasts the House of Mouse (Disneyland). We have Hollywood, you have Santa Fe. We have earthquakes and you don't - at least, not big ones. Which governor would win in the ring, Arnold or Bill?

Between the two, who would become president, (if Arnold were allowed to run?) Who has more illegal immigrants per capita? Who is actually trying to solve the problem?

New Mexicans have been relocating to the West Coast for hundreds of years. Centuries ago Spanish explorers made a beeline for the Pacific Ocean. Depression-era families picked up and moved to the coast for a new life. Many New Mexican families relocated, some temporarily, to California coastal towns to help build the goods needed to win World War II.

Throughout the centuries, the migration continues. California has crowds, high cost of living, pollution, crime and other social ills that it contends with daily. What is the appeal? And why do some of those restless souls find their way back to New Mexico?

The answer to those questions will appear in future columns. But for now, here are a few self-deprecating California-jokes, just to put a smile on your face:

You know you live in California when:

• A low-speed police pursuit will interrupt any TV broadcast.

• You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits, a fab exercise facility, and tofu takeout.

• You're thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between aromatherapy and conversational Mandarin.

• Your best friends just named their twins after her acting coach and his personal trainer.

• It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about `STORM WATCH '2005.'

• Your child's third grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.

• You were born somewhere else.

• Your car has bullet-proof windows.

• Left is right and right is wrong.

• Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.

• You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.

• You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.

• You drive to your neighborhood block party.

• You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.

• More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers.

• Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.

• You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman.

• A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery.

• All highways out of the state say: "Go back."

Dolores Sanchez Badillo is an uque native who moved to California two decades ago. She writes about her life in the Golden State for www.abqtrib.com and can be reached at dsbmurrieta@comcast.net