For years, the disability community has fought for - and won - the right to include children with disabilities in mainstream schools. Occasionally, the media will report about a violation of such efforts. But just how does inclusion really work?

A relative of mine is an early-childhood teacher. Every year, he's sandbagged on the first day of school by parents of children with one or more disabilities, who haven't mentioned this to anyone.

For example, last school year a child with cerebral palsy entered his classroom, unannounced. Startled, he investigated the child's admission forms and spoke with the mother. She felt her child was not disabled but was just a child who happened to have cerebral palsy.

The child's disability prompted rearrangement of the class playground area to protect the child from harm. The school had no prior advisement of the child's needs regarding medications, eating needs or bathroom assistance. This delayed requests for a para-educator and for developing an individual educational program for the child.

An individual educational program is a lengthy process, requiring educators to document each variable the child displays daily for one to three months. A meeting with the parents or guardian, school social workers, special education leaders and school administration must take place to discuss the daily accommodations and outcomes, and suggestions for further enhancements are given. But the group can't suggest that the child has any form of a disability unless it is previously acknowledged by the parent.

If the parent approves, new routines and accommodations for the child commence. After a fixed time, the group reassembles to discuss the progress of the new accommodations. If accommodations remain inadequate, the group suggests further testing from an outside source to determine the child's disabilities, if any. More often than not, the parent or guardian refuses further testing, and the matter is dropped.

This back-door approach to mainstreaming children with disabilities costs more than just the time of the teacher and the advising group. During the assessment phase, other children in the class are neglected, unless the teacher is assisted by one or more para-educators. If there is more than one child with a disability, sufficient support staff is vital.

The No Child Left Behind act says accommodations must be made to administer state academic tests to children with disabilities. Child Find, a component of IDEA, requires states to identify, locate and evaluate all children with disabilities, up to age 21, who are in need of early intervention or special education services.

How can either of these federal mandates be fulfilled, if the parents deny that the child has or may have a disability? To remove the stigma that a child with a disability is not educable or can't be accepted, parents must allow school administrators to do their jobs.

For early intervention to succeed, children with disabilities must be acknowledged and accepted by the people who love them most.

McKee, a wheelchair user, is a freelance writer and producer. You can e-mail her at chairgrrl@chairgrrl.com.