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1st Friday: It's important for The Linz to be smart, not fast

By Richard Stevens
Friday, December 1, 2006

The Linz is lucky to be alive.

The Great One was almost mobbed this past Friday night at Milne Stadium when The Linz went out to hug Ralph "Fudge" Chavez after his huge win over Highland.

The scene was like something out of a Linz nightmare, well, except the Albuquerque High offense wasn't in it.

Anyway, there was The Great One standing alone and brave in the middle of a pack of rowdy Cibola fans and Chavez demands:

"What about what you wrote this week? Your boys are over there," The Short One said, pointing The Linz in the direction of the Hornets as the Cibola mob edged in for the kill.

Now, a few years ago, The Linz wouldn't have minded being set up like that. The Linz used to be able to run like the wind.

The Linz was used to running like the wind at Cibola games because ex-Cougars coach Ben "I'm An Educator" Schultz used to sic Cougar fans on The Linz all the time.

The Linz also goes to most games with a strategy on how to avoid charging coaches:

At Manzano games, when The Linz is being chased by Aaron "O-Camp-Out-At-The-Buffet," The Great One simply runs past the concession stand.

That brings O-Camp-Out to a screeching halt.

At Eldorado games, when The Linz is being chased by Eagles coach Dave Williams, The Linz points into the sky and yells "Look, a forward pass!" That always brings Williams to a halt because Williams always has wanted to see what a forward pass looks like.

At Albuquerque High games, The Linz simply bolts into the end zone. It seems all Bulldogs have a great fear of stepping into an endzone.

At La Cueva games, The Great One brings coach Fred Romero to a halt by tossing down The Linz's Visa Gold Card. Ain't nobody at La Cueva can pass up a Gold Card.

At Lobos games, when Rocky 3rd-And-Long is closing the gap on The Linz, The Great One yells, "Look, a bowl win." That brings 3rd-And-Long to a halt because Long has always wanted to see what a bowl win looks like.

Still, The Linz didn't expect such a cheap shot from Fudge.

And The Linz had taken Fudge a MilneDog as a reward for the big win.

The Linz figures Fudge was mad because The Great One picked Highland to win the game.

It was nothing personal. The Linz had seen Cibola's games against Rio Rancho and Hobbs.

The Linz embarrassed himself by going 5-4 last week. The Average One is 239-50 on the year for an 83 percent success rate. Here are The Linz Gems for this week with home teams in capital letters:

Alamogordo by 14 over CIBOLA - 7 tonight, Milne: If The Linz gets up the courage to talk to Fudge after this game, The Linz will be armed with a dozen MilneDogs. You toss a few of those babies down in front of Fudge, and Fudge will have to stop and graze.

MAYFIELD by 21 over Sandia - 1 p .m. Saturday, Field of Dreams: The only way the Matadors can stop the Trojans is if Sandia demands to check the Trojans' report cards before the game.

OTHER GAMES

Class 4A: Artesia by 14 over GODDARD.

Class 3A: Robertson by 20 over PORTALES.

The Lindsey Line is intended as a humorous feature written by Trib columnist Richard Stevens. If you want to respond to The Linz, you can e-mail The Great One at rstevens@abqtrib.com.