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Dear Readers: It's the time of year that places much of our focus on giving gifts. I encourage you to use your "heart sense" as you consider your gift-giving list.

A gift should show that you are thinking of the receiver and that you value that person's place in your life. But the perfect gift doesn't have to be wrapped up and tied with a bow. Often, time spent with a person can be the most valuable gift you can give.

A friend of mine took this advice to heart this year. Her family's tradition with another family was to exchange gifts for the children. Knowing each other well, and knowing the full toy boxes at each home, gift ideas were harder to come by.

My friend realized that what the children enjoy most is spending time together. So rather than exchanging toys, she proposed that they take a family outing together. Minus the wrapping paper and bows, the 10 of them will spend a day ice skating during winter break - a day to remember.

There are many ways we can give and show that we're thinking of someone. While it may come from a catalog or a department store, it has to come from the heart.

Dear Thelma: Is there such a thing as shopping etiquette? People around here need it.

Answer: Shopping etiquette involves the courtesy and respect we should show each other every day.

It starts in the parking lot. Drive slowly and be attentive to pedestrians. To claim a space that someone is backing out of, use your turn signal to stake your claim. If you see someone near a space you want who has turned on his signal, consider the space taken.

Once you've found a space large enough for your vehicle - remember that sport utility vehicles are not considered "compact" - park with consideration. Be careful with your doors getting in and out of your car.

Allow yourself extra time than normal to do your shopping. Before you enter, recognize that the stores will be crowded and the lines will be long. Realize that you are likely to encounter edgy people; be ready to counter that with kindness.

Decide that you will model respect and consideration toward other shoppers and toward sales clerks, and do it. Greet everyone with a smile and "hello." Use the words and phrases "please," "thank you," and "you're welcome" abundantly.

When it is your turn at the register, give your full attention to the task at hand. Stay off your cell phone, and have your purchases and payment ready for a speedy transaction.

Just like the very best gifts, good manners never go out of style.