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`The Joan Crawford/Marilyn Monroe Christmas Carol' comes to the Vortex
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What: "The Joan Crawford/Marilyn Monroe Christmas Carol," a holiday special performed by the Dolls drag troupe.
When: 8 p.m. Thursday and Dec. 15, 16, 21, 22, 23; 6 p.m. Dec. 17; 2 p.m. Dec. 24.
Where: Vortex Theater, 2004 Central Ave. S.E. (Buena Vista Drive just south of Central).
How much: $15. Call 247-8600.
What else: There is an opening-night reception after Thursday's show and an audience talkback session with the cast after the Dec. 17 show.
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If you're older than you'd like to dwell on, you remember the heyday of TV variety show Christmas specials in the 1960s.
Everybody had one - Perry Como, Danny Kaye, Dean Martin, Judy Garland.
Garland's 1963 Christmas special with guest Mel Torme is a classic - mostly for all the wrong reasons. First of all, they almost had to call it off because Garland was missing as the time for taping neared.
She showed up in the nick of time, but things just got crazier after that. For example, she introduced singer Torme not as Mel but as Mort.
It was while watching a video of that nutty Garland holiday special more than 10 years ago that Kenneth Ansloan and Matthew Bubb, founders of the Albuquerque drag troupe the Dolls, were inspired to do a Dolls' Christmas special.
"We thought it would be fun to have a Christmas special and show all the chaotic things going on behind the scenes," Ansloan said during a phone interview this week.
It turned out to be enough fun to prompt a whole series of Dolls' Christmas specials during the last decade. On Thursday, the Dolls will launch a reprise of the second show in the series - "The Joan Crawford/Marilyn Monroe Christmas Carol" - at the Vortex Theater.
"You can call it a rerun if you want, but we have grown a lot since we first did this particular show nine years ago," Ansloan said. "We have learned a lot of new techniques. Sixty percent of the show is redo."
Crawford (Ansloan) and Monroe (Bubb) are still the heart of the show and Bette Davis, Liberace and Joan's dearest daughter, Christina, are also characters back from the original version.
"But this year we also have Lana Turner, Loretta Lynn and Julia Child as guests," Ansloan said.
He confides that Julia (also portrayed by Bubb) gets sauced on the cooking wine while preparing a Christmas dinner.
In this "TV special," Crawford and Monroe take liberties with Charles Dicken's classic tale "A Christmas Carol."
Crawford takes the Scrooge role and Monroe plays the ghosts of Marilyn Past, Marilyn Present and Marilyn Future.
"Marilyn has some pretty fabulous costumes," Ansloan said. "Marilyn Past has pink hair over a foot high and Marilyn Future is in a really cool space outfit with a headdress of Christmas ornaments."
Bette Davis is the Marley's ghost character, pulling a heavy chain festooned with cigarette cartons because Davis was - wait for it - a chain smoker.
This is the second consecutive year that a Dolls Christmas special has been performed in the intimate setting of the Vortex. Before that, the Dolls' Christmas shows were done in larger venues such as the KiMo Theater, the Highland Theater and the South Broadway Cultural Center.
Ansloan said he likes the chemistry of the show in the smaller Vortex.
"Last year when Joan and Marilyn came out to greet our audience in the Vortex, we were six inches from the front row," he said. "You get to enjoy being right there with the audience, seeing their reactions."
And being right in the patrons' faces gives the Dolls a chance to interact with audience members.
"Marilyn can bring a man up from the audience to do a sexy number with her," Ansloan said. "When they are shy and reticent, it's all the more fun."

