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Dear Readers: I've been thinking about children and the holidays. Much of the focus of the season is placed on letters to Santa and grabbing up the hot new toy to please a child. Perhaps it's time more energy was placed on creating opportunities that allow children to give.

I know one family that sat down as a group and decided how they would give this year. Together they chose to sponsor a family that couldn't afford much for Christmas. Their 11-year-old had $20 saved and ready to commit to the cause. Her 6-year-old brother had $5.

By participating in the discussion from the beginning, the children were able to make helping those in need a focus of their own holiday celebration.

Whether you plan to head to the nearest Giving Tree or even try to get your kids to come up with gifts for one another, talk with them beforehand. Encourage them to understand why giving is important and rewarding. Given the opportunity, I think they'll love having the chance to give.

Dear Thelma: My job often requires me to attend social events with leaders of various religious denominations, especially during the holiday season. As a Protestant, I am not overly familiar with forms of address for these individuals. Can you offer a quick referral guide when addressing Catholic bishops and priests, Jewish rabbis and pastors of Protestant faiths other than my own? I don't wish to offend these individuals and am unsure if it is appropriate for me to address them in the way a member of their faith would.

Answer: It is always polite and appropriate to use a person's official title when greeting and speaking with them. Pay special attention when you are introduced to a person with a religious title; a proper introduction will give you the immediate information you need.

Address a Catholic archbishop or bishop as "Your Excellency" or "Archbishop Sheehan." If he prefers that you call him "Archbishop Michael," he will tell you. A Catholic priest is properly addressed as "Father Sanchez," or - if he prefers - "Father Steve" or simply "Father." A Catholic nun is addressed as "Sister Margaret" or "Sister."

A Jewish rabbi is addressed as "Rabbi Cohen" or simply "Rabbi."

Reverend, Pastor, Doctor, Mr. and Ms. are used among Protestant faiths. Again, take note of how the clergyperson is introduced to you and use that title. And if you're still unsure, it's never wrong to ask the people how they prefer to be addressed.

A sincere heart and good manners never go out of style.