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Dear Readers: As the holidays approach, I begin thinking about opportunities for celebration. For me, hosting a dinner party is a happy responsibility. Here's how I go about it.

The first thing I consider is the "why" of having a dinner party. The reason I cherish most is to bring together an intimate group of people whom I want to celebrate as being my friends. Creating an occasion for these wonderful people to get to know each other is a delight for me.

My second consideration is the guest list. The ultimate success of the evening is very much dependent on the combination of people I invite. Most frequently I try to limit a dinner party in my home to eight people. This size of group creates the most opportunities for everyone to connect.

I work to develop a list of people who will enjoy being together. My thought process behind creating the mix changes for each dinner I plan, so why I include certain individuals and leave others for another fun evening remains for me to decide. When planning a list, I must be considerate of those invited and not put anyone in an uncomfortable situation.

I enjoy sending my guests a handwritten invitation. I believe the sentiment indicates I'm planning an extra-special evening for them and it heightens their anticipation and festivity.

Once my guests have responded, I create place cards for them and arrange their seating at the dinner table. The cards eliminate the need for me to stand at the table and say, "You sit here and you sit there." They also are an essential ingredient for a fun and conversational dinner party.

I like to arrange the seating so that husband and wife do not sit next to each other. When you're sitting next to someone you don't know well, you're more motivated to socialize and it provides the maximum opportunity for everyone to get acquainted.

As host, I sit at the head of the table. From that spot I can initiate or consolidate the conversation if necessary. If two tables are used, I ask in advance for a particular guest at the second table to exchange places with me at some point in the meal. I select someone I know will be comfortable doing this and plan it with him or her privately ahead of time.

I also plan for my time to be spent with my guests and not spent entirely in the kitchen. Too much time in the kitchen creates an atmosphere where the guests begin to think that they should help and then they become not guests but helpers for the evening.

Good hosts, good parties and good manners never go out of style.