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Dear Thelma: What is the polite way to tell friends you no longer want to exchange Christmas gifts with them?

Answer: A conversation has to take place in this instance. It is important for your friends to know the reason for ending the exchange so that they don't feel slighted or that you're interested in ending the relationship along with the exchange.

Tell your friends honestly that due to a need to simplify or financial constraints you would like to end the customary exchange. If possible, ask if they'd like to plan to do something together instead. The gift of time is often the best gift of all.

Dear Thelma: My daughter-in-law recently invited my husband and me to our twin grandsons' 1st birthday and addressed the card to Maria and John. I am very upset at the way it was addressed. Am I being too sensitive even when she knows how this bothers us? We have a very good relationship with them but I do feel out of respect for us "Nanny and Popi" should be used.

Answer: Your daughter-in-law has addressed the invitation correctly. Loving nicknames are not generally used in addresses on envelopes. In addition, the invitation is coming from the host of the party - your daughter-in-law, who probably calls you Maria and John - not from your grandsons. You are being too sensitive.

Dear Thelma: What should I do if I am hosting a dinner party and guests are late?

Answer: Latecomers to a small, intimate dinner should always notify you in advance that they will be late and how late they will be. If they know ahead of time, they should let you know as soon as they are aware of it. If something detains them that evening, they should call as soon as possible.

Waiting 30 minutes prior to seating everyone is more than sufficient. This predinner time is usually reserved for guests to have drinks, greet one another and be introduced to new friends. When these activities start to dwindle and the food is ready to be served, it is fine to start dinner without the tardy guests.

Seating can be quickly rearranged if you make your own call and discover the latecomers won't attend, or you may leave it as-is so they have places when they do arrive. After graciously accepting their apologies and welcoming them to the table, start them with the course the rest of the group is being served. However, if you've already progressed to dessert, offer to serve them the main course.

Gracious entertaining and good manners never go out of style.