Home › Sports › LoboZone
Hnida still kicking, hopeful
Ex-UNM football player adds promise to her new memoir
HNIDA HIGHLIGHTS
Here are some excerpts from former University of New Mexico kicker Katie Hnida's memoir, "Still Kicking: My Journey as the First Women to Play Division I College Football." The book went on sale nationally Tuesday.
On kicking:
"The first time I walked onto a football field as a player in high school, I knew I had found a home. I had never felt a deeper sense of belonging or a purer connection to life as when I was on the field. The simple rhythm and cadence of kicking are like poetry to me."
On ex-Colorado coach Gary Barnett:
"I knew the last place I would get any support was from my football coach. Barnett didn't want me around, was always unapproachable, and frankly, I didn't trust him anyway."
On choosing not to immediately report being raped:
"I told no one about the rape. I knew what happened was wrong, but I didn't know who to turn to. I didn't even know what to say. I was scared, ashamed and somehow felt responsible for the incident."
On UNM coach Rocky Long:
". . . Coach Long led by example. The team was a direct reflection of his personality: hard work, unselfishness, and humility. We were known as a `blue-collar' team. Nothing fancy, no prima donnas - just smash-mouth football. We were built to be tough and relentless. Win or lose, we were going to physically drive the opposing team into the turf. I loved it and was proud to be a member of this team. Coach Long constantly stressed the importance of our characters - both on and off the field. He once put it this way - most of us wouldn't go on to the NFL, but every one of us would go out in the world. He wanted us to be good men and `a woman.' "
On her UNM teammates:
"Earlier in camp one of the first guys I met was an offensive lineman from Texas named Rob Turner. I liked him immediately. Even though he had no idea what I'd been through, before camp ended he said to me, `If anyone ever gives you any trouble, you come talk to me.' I thanked him. As it turns out, Rob wasn't the only one. His offer was repeated by different players in different times and places at UNM. But more important, I never had to take anyone up on it. Ever."
On her future:
"And I'm not done dreaming - or doing - just quite yet. The possibilities seem endless. I plan to keep writing, speaking, and trying to make a difference in the world. Football? We'll see. I know I've never reached my full potential as a kicker."
HNIDA'S BOOK TOUR
Former University of New Mexico kicker Katie Hnida will be promoting her memoir, "Still Kicking: My Journey as the First Woman to Play Division I Football," nationally this week. The book, published by Scribner, a division of Simon and Schuster, is on sale for $24.
Hnida will speak and sign copies of her memoir at Bookworks, 4022 Rio Grande Blvd. N.W., at 7 tonight and at the UNM Bookstore at 2 p.m. Thursday.
At the end of a nightmare, former University of New Mexico kicker Katie Hnida said she has found hope.
Hnida said in a phone interview with The Tribune on Tuesday that writing her memoir, "Still Kicking: My Journey as the First Woman to Play Division I Football," was a difficult but worthwhile trip through her past.
She said she penned the book after a writer assisting her resigned from the project.
Hnida sorted through her darkest days facing sexual harassment and rape during her freshman year on the Colorado Buffaloes team.
She eventually landed at UNM, where she became the first woman to score in a Division I-A game.
"It a pretty grueling experience, and it still feels kind of unbelievable that I finished the book," she said. "I did the New Mexico chapters first because those were so much fun and so easy to write. Then I had to tackle the Colorado chapters.
"I was lucky to be writing those at home in Littleton, (Colo.,) with my parents around for support because I had all kinds of nightmares and flashbacks and panic attacks. It was like reliving the whole thing."
Hnida doesn't seem to flinch in a blistering account of her trauma at Colorado, painting an especially grim picture of former Buffaloes coach Gary Barnett.
"I just set out to share exactly what happened to me," she said. "I really didn't share many opinions about Barnett. I just explained how I was treated by him and players in his program.
"I actually don't think about him very much anymore. Most people think I should really hate him or think about him all the time, but he really doesn't come to mind very often."
Hnida said it was worth the ordeal of writing about some of her best and worst college experiences.
"I wanted to show other women and men out there who have been raped that you can overcome the trauma and regain control of your life," she said. "It wasn't easy, but I never gave up on my dream."
She said she isn't wary of a backlash from Buffaloes fans and gets a lot of support from people in her home state of Colorado. Hnida added there is a very small but vocal group that believes her sole goal is to hurt the Colorado football program.
"I really hope the Colorado football team improves because it is a great school," she said. "There were a handful of people who made my life miserable, but there were a lot of great people on that team."
While she sounds confident and poised, Hnida said she still endures dark days dealing with the sexual assault.
She said she suspects the trauma never will really go away, but she refuses to let it define her life.
Hnida spent much of her football career dodging the media, which she said made her appearances on "Today" and "Larry King Live" surreal.
It also has her looking forward to visiting Albuquerque today and Thursday to speak and sign copies of her book.
"Along with getting to see all the fans who have supported me so much and a lot of my friends, I love Albuquerque because it's one of the few places I can just be Katie," she said. "Everywhere else I have to spend so much time explaining the uglier parts of my college experience, and I have to try really hard to steer the conversation toward New Mexico and a place where it really worked. It's a place where I was part of a special team and got to play Division I football."
Hnida's future is a little murky.
She developed a love of writing when she took charge of penning her memoir and plans to pursue freelance magazine writing. Hnida also has an option for a second book, which she will explore depending on how well her memoir sells.
Hnida lives in New York City and is debating whether to do some TV broadcast work or go to medical school to study sports medicine.
And she still works out regularly just in case she finds an opportunity to kick with a professional football team. She said watching UNM play on TV recently while visiting her parents in Colorado stirred her passion for the game.
"I have no idea what I'll do next, but I've learned never to close the door to anything," she said. "My life has already been filled with way too many twists and turns for me to assume I have it all figured out. I'm open to just about anything."
