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University of New Mexico: What are the more common reactions to being told you've been diagnosed with cancer?

Alice Conant: Faced with a potentially fatal disease, many people's minds go blank. Even well-educated people can become very confused, especially with the barrage of diagnostic studies and biopsies that might be required. There are numerous individual reactions to receiving such news. Some people may ignore the information initially, while others might leap into action.

Denial is a common reaction, as it serves as a defense against a scary reality. We always recommend that a patient bring a family member or a friend along to appointments to take notes, record schedules and timelines, and gather other important information. The companionship, too, is extremely important.

UNM: How does a patient's mental/emotional state affect their physical state?

Conant: That's a huge subject. There's a growing body of evidence that demonstrates a positive emotional state can help the healing process. We also know that learning to relax, through meditation or just practicing breathing more deeply, can ease cancer treatments and minimize side effects. Negative emotions may not make a cancer grow, but can make it hard to negotiate the system and handle the anxiety of waiting for results of tests or chemotherapy. It's better to cultivate a sense of humor and build up some emotional resilience, regardless of the stage of your disease.

Some degree of depression is a normal reaction for people facing losses of body parts, reduced ability to perform their usual responsibilities, and changes in personal relationships. Worries about physical and financial survival and other stressors are understandable. But if someone continues to be unable to function, has self-destructive thoughts, or significant trouble with sleeping or eating, we suggest that they consult their physician or our staff psychologist.

UNM: What are some of the more common family reactions and specifically what is the family's role?

Conant: Following a diagnosis, the patient's family and close friends need someone besides the patient to talk to and validate their own fears, and even provide respite. They can talk to a social worker or attend a support group.

Family members are the hunters and gatherers of information for the patient. They may help transport the patient to multiple appointments, take time off from their own busy lives to stay overnight with the patient who comes from out of town.

Family can show support by taking care of the patient's kids or ensuring the bills get paid. Families often conduct a lot of research online - sites such as the National Cancer Institute and CancerCare - or by talking to organizations like the American Cancer Society, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, and People Living though Cancer.

Families and friends can come together by taking turns managing concrete tasks. Beyond this, family members may provide optimism and levity to shift the focus away from uncomfortable or uncontrollable situations.

UNM: How important is hope to one's treatment and outcome?

Conant: Our feelings and our physical state are intertwined. People often learn that in spite of a cancer diagnosis, side effects, and even a dire prognosis, you really can improve your quality of life. Many gain a better perspective on things.

Having a positive mental state and having faith - be it religious or a trust in science and your physician - can help you to navigate the system and better adjust to loss of income or changes in appearance and bodily functions. It truly helps when cancer patients start looking at life more through humor and become more playful. Support groups, time enjoying nature, music, exercise and art really can help patients to get to that positive mental state.

UNM: What is the best mental and emotional state for a cancer patient to be in as treatment commences and how do you find that state?

Conant: There are numerous and very different styles. Some folks need to talk with friends, while others need to find a private place to cry. Many write in journals, even if they've never done that before. Some really need to see a professional or get medication, depending on how immobilized they become.

In general, you can see yourself as a survivor from day one. Being a survivor doesn't necessarily mean living a certain number of days, months or years with cancer or even that the cancer will go away. A survivor is someone who can face challenges and persevere. Patients can take an active role in learning about new treatments and can get involved in educating others about cancer.

Some people already may have become stronger by overcoming other traumas in their lives. Others may have been more fortunate, so there's a radical change of paradigm. They have to learn to redefine their priorities and their relationships, to appreciate what they have day by day. Some find that becoming an advocate for others with the same diagnosis gives them a new drive, a new sense of purpose.

Role models help. Look at Lance Armstrong. Through his story, people see that they can have a disease and still reach new levels of achievement in their lives. Allowing more humor in one's life helps, too. Be around funny people or watch funny programs.