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OK, I'll admit it. I'm cuckoo for Dennis Kucinich.

Not that I think he should be president or anything. But for my election-viewing dollar he provides more entertainment value than the rest of the Democratic lot combined. And, boy, do we need something to get more people interested in politics again.

Of course, anyone in his or her right mind - I'm not claiming to be - knows Kucinich has about as much chance of getting the Democratic nomination for president as George W. has of winning a spelling bee.

But that's not the point. Our democracy needs people like Kucinich to liven things up. Can you imagine nothing but a bunch of John Kerrys and Al Gores slugging it out for our affection? Yikes!

With higher TV ratings in mind and complete disregard for what it could mean for the fate of our nation, I have thought of at least six good reasons why Kucinich should be the Democratic standard-bearer. Here they are, in no particular order:

Those cute, elfin ears. Not only will they disarm any hostile foreign leader, I'll bet he is a good listener. The leader of the free world should be a good listener. Plus, I bet there would always be cookies around the White House.

He's little. I'm sick of these big, strapping, corn-fed American presidents who make other foreign leaders feel like pipsqueaks. It's hard not to look down on people when you're 6-foot-5. We need a president who fights for the little guy, because he is a little guy.

He unabashedly opposed the Iraq invasion before anyone was even talking about it. In February of 1978, he said, "If I am ever in Congress, and the president ever proposes invading Iraq, I will oppose it." That took some real foresight and guts - especially because most people didn't know where Iraq was at the time.

He wants a Department of Peace. Not only would this be a laid-back place to work but: How cool would it be to convert the Pentagon into the shape of a peace sign? I would apply to be the assistant secretary for mellow Middle Eastern affairs.

He used to live in his car. Seriously. That's what he said at the last debate. Anyone who can go from crashing in his Chrysler to being in Congress should have a shot at driving the big, American bus. Besides, I'm sure he would be committed to affordable housing - not to mention more comfortable car seats.

He's fearless. The guy has to know there's no way in heck he can win, but he shows up at every debate as though he owns the joint. I like that. He's the utter-underdog. I bet he shows up to the Democratic National Convention and demands a spot on the agenda. What has he got to lose?

All kidding aside, it is nice to have someone in the race who says what a lot of Americans are thinking. So what if many of them should be institutionalized.

OK, I'm really serious now. With all the choreography and predictability of modern presidential politics, it is nice to know that a relatively unknown congressman from Ohio can still make his mark on our democracy. We need more heretics and iconoclasts in American politics, if for no other reason than to keep more of us interested in the process.

So here's to the good congressman from Ohio. And here's to all the Cuckoos for Kucinich. Maybe you should start a chapter near you.