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The primary fights in both parties for Pete Domenici's U.S. Senate seat are fraught with pitfalls, all of them having to do with New Mexico's political psychology.

New Mexico politics have had a tawdry national reputation. Outsiders have likened us to banana republics and other icons of corruption and nepotism. But New Mexicans who vote know that isn't what our political personality really is.

Ours is a courtly state. Its political culture is built around relationships, good manners, humor and respect — along, of course, with some knuckling and judicious muscle.

We're still a small state, in which interpersonal networks and social decency matters. If you're running for office, you don't want to have a lot of people who hold grudges against you. That's the fate of the discourteous.

In the Senate primaries, grudges will play a big role.

Albuquerque Mayor Martin Chavez, a candidate for the Democratic nomination, has a long history of making enemies.

U.S. Rep. Heather Wilson, an Albuquerque Republican, has antagonized just about everyone with her efforts to appeal to moderate Democrats in District 1, while voting as the neocon she is.

As for U.S. Rep. Steve Pearce, the conservative Republican in District 2, it's the nature of the hard right in America to be polarizing and make enemies.

District 3 U.S. Rep. Tom Udall, a Santa Fe Democrat, on the other hand, has not only impeccable political credentials, but he's also right up there with former and current New Mexico political leaders Manuel Lujan, Steve Schiff, Bill Richardson, Bruce King, Dennis Chavez, Jeff Bingaman and Garry Carruthers on the affability scale.

Across the political spectrum, New Mexico voters tend to respect dignified, articulate, easygoing and friendly candidates. We don't appreciate sharklike behavior, although voters hardly ever forget when you go against their interests.

I'm more than happy to have Republicans Pearce and Wilson smear each other in a nasty primary campaign. The winner will inevitably have made so many enemies that nothing will help him or her recover, even if the national GOP spends big and spews its acid in the general election.

But I am worried about Democrat Chavez dogfighting with Democrat Udall — not because I think Udall will debase himself or get hurt, but because I've always thought Chavez would be far better in the U.S. House than as a mayor.

By whacking on Udall, not only does Chavez pile up more grudges, but he, by necessity, has to use anti-liberal, Republican arguments and tactics, which will ruin his chances for public office in the future — unless, of course, he changes party.

One argument runs that Chavez really is a Republican anyway. Why else would he have failed to attack GOP Gov. Gary Johnson when he ran against him for governor, and then start ripping into Udall when he runs for Domenici's seat?

Chavez can't afford to alienate any more Democrats than he already has. No matter how far right he goes, the GOP will never go for him over one of its own.