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This is the first Christmas I'm not going home. Despite the constant Christmas music I play in the house and car, coming to peace with missing the holiday with my family didn't come until I met Sister Mary Kainz. A recent assignment took me to Cubero, where I spent the afternoon with Sister Kainz as she visited the homes of parishioners who were physically incapable of attending mass at Our Lady of Light Catholic Church. Her interactions with those people helped me realize it will be OK. They love just being with her. Her calm, her peace, her happiness brought them delight.

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This is the first Christmas I'm not going home.

I've known all year, but now that the season is upon us, the realization is much harder than I'd anticipated. My mom constantly calls me, from the grocery store of all places, because some acquaintance has just asked if I'll be home and he or she inadvertently brought her to tears. My sister is in a mild state of disbelief.

"Who will keep us all from arguing?" she asked during a recent phone conversation. "More important, who is going to keep Mom from driving me crazy?"

My dad avoids the topic entirely. Avoidance seems to make it less difficult for him.

In as soothing of a voice as I can muster, I assure them all it will be OK. I'm trying to make that true. My boyfriend and I are establishing our own traditions. We scoured Cibola National Forest for the world's best Christmas trees. We've decorated the house perfectly - though he did get a little out of control with the construction paper. And we are happily devouring each chocolate in our advent calendar.

Despite our efforts and the constant Christmas music I play in the house and car, coming to peace with missing the holiday with my family didn't come until I met Sister Mary Kainz.

A recent assignment took me to Cubero, where I spent the afternoon with Kainz as she visited the homes of parishioners who were physically incapable of attending Mass at Our Lady of Light Catholic Church.

Her interactions with those people helped me realize it will be OK. They love just being with her. Her calm, her peace, her happiness brought them delight.

Being at home is only a part of what makes Christmas so wonderful.

It's the things we do for others. It's appreciating the beauty of twinkling lights. It's finding that perfect tree and decorating the house. It's the joy we share from within ourselves that makes the season so merry.