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The beginning of a new year traditionally is a time for reflection and resolutions, a time to recover from the long holiday season and its many hangovers.

During this busy season, none of us has the attention span to read (much less write) a 600-word column on a particular topic. Instead, here are some random thoughts for 2008:

• Physical fitness looms large this time of year, as we resolve to lose weight and eat healthier and develop actual muscles. If we're smart, we avoid the bathroom scales while we still carry around the results of eggnog, giblet gravy and fruitcake. Instead, we indulge in the Annual Progression of the Pants, wearing our "fat jeans" until we can squeeze into the skinnier ones. After-Christmas sales are a good source of "even fatter jeans."

• Speaking of fruitcakes, what kind of person willingly participates in a "reality TV" show? I can't stand to watch the humiliation and degradation they inflict on those poor contestants, much less imagine why anyone would volunteer. But you can bet we'll see even more reality shows in 2008. The writers have been on strike, so we're stuck with "reality."

• Why doesn't the TV remote come with a "moot" button?

• The economy will get much worse in the year ahead. Or much better. Nobody knows, particularly not economists, whose idea of analysis is firing a crystal ball out of a cannon.

• 2008 is, of course, an election year. Doesn't it feel like this presidential campaign has already lasted four or five years? Rarely have so many been so sickened by so few for so long. No matter how the election turns out, at least half of us will hate the outcome. If any country should be erecting a border fence, it's Canada.

• Speaking of idiots, if you want proof that the world is going to hell in a handbasket, look at the "comments" section of any news-related Web site. You will find political bickering, class warfare, racism, name-calling, illiteracy and star-struck stupidity. Everybody's got an opinion, and everybody else is wrong. Scanning the comments is like simultaneously listening to Fox News, your mother-in-law and that garrulous old drunk at the end of the bar. Do the commentators really think we're interested in their opinions? Maybe they're just desperate to make some mark, the way a dog strains at the leash as he walks past a fire hydrant.

• Doesn't YouTube sound like an insult? And Facebook sounds like an assault in a library.

• Resolve to wear shoes less often. Personal happiness is directly proportional to the amount of time spent barefoot.

• Recent headline: "What Your Underwear Says About You." I always suspected that my underwear was talking about me behind my back.

• Speaking of underwear, is it coincidence that sagging pants became popular during the "crack" cocaine epidemic? I don't think so. Song in my head: "Bad Moon Rising."

• Newest traffic hazard: Motorists text-messaging while driving. Suggested punishment upon conviction: Thumb removal.

• Oprah. Obama. Banana-bana-bo-bama. Fee-fi-fo-fama. Oprabama! Don't try that with "Huckabee."

• In 2008, the U.S. Mint will change the look of all our paper money, including putting a big purple "5" on the five-dollar bill. Sorry, I went too far. Nobody would believe that one.

• Other predictions for the new year: Bad weather, natural disasters, random violence, crime, war, insanity, disease, famine, bankruptcy, train wrecks, plane crashes, celebrity scandal, political chicanery, religious zealotry, hatred, fear and assorted heebie-jeebies. Same as last year and the year before.

• Have a great 2008! See you in Canada.