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Dear Thelma: I've finally gone and done what my younger co-workers say is a must for dating in this day and age: I put my profile on an online dating service. How does etiquette fit in here?

Answer: The most important thing to remember is that good manners have as much of a place online as they do in every other aspect of life. If you are serious about meeting people and establishing a special relationship, etiquette gives you a framework for putting your best foot forward in any venue.

Focus on the fact that you are communicating with a living, breathing human being. That person should receive the courtesy and respect due any relationship.

Start by being honest in your profile and posting recent photos of yourself. Personalize your e-mail messages. Respect the privacy of new friends and don't press for personal information. Allow a person to respond to a message before sending another.

Use e-mail etiquette when communicating with new online friends. Start your message with a greeting (Dear Sam; Hi, Pat) and end with a closing (Sincerely; Cheers) and your name. Review your message before you send it, watching out for sarcasm or humor that can be misconstrued. Use spell check.

Do your best to reply within one week to those who contact you. Although some online dating advocates say not responding when you aren't interested is acceptable, the truly polite thing to do is to reply with a short "Thank you, but I'm not interested," message.

If you decide to meet face-to-face with someone you've met online, start with a short date in a public place. Meet for coffee or lunch. Follow up with an e-mail thanking the person for meeting you. Depending on your feelings, that e-mail may be "thanks, but I don't think we're a match" or a "thanks, I had a great time."

If you've seen someone a few times and have decided a romantic relationship is not in the future, let that person know as soon as you realize it. You'll be tempted to end it with an e-mail message, but a conversation by phone or in person is much more sensitive to their feelings.

Using an online dating service allows you to meet many people who are also interested in meeting many people. So how do you know when it's time to take down your profile and focus on one special person? Have a face-to-face conversation with that person to share your interest in an exclusive relationship and find out if he or she feels the same.

Like clear communication - online and in-person - good manners never go out of style.