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Dear Thelma: I attended cocktail parties and hosted my own party this holiday season and found the martini glass to be very awkward. What is the proper way to hold it? Is it supposed to be held by the stem or by the base? It can be quite unmanageable.

Answer: Martini glasses are designed so that you can consume the cocktail as it was meant to be consumed - while cold. People go to great lengths - chilling the shaker, the liquor and the glasses - to be sure the drink is cold. The glass is designed to keep it that way while you sip.

If you place your hands around the glass itself, heat from your hands will affect the temperature of the drink. Hold the glass by its stem close to the bottom of its triangular bowl. This will give you a solid hold, but you will avoid warming the drink. Holding the glass by its base or at the stem near the base is too cumbersome. Its top-heavy bowl may tip and spill.

Remember that during cocktail hours when you would expect to greet friends and meet new people, hold any drink you have in your left hand. Doing so will leave your right hand warm, dry and free for shaking. Also, it is best to eat or drink, rather than tying your hands up by doing both at the same time. If both your hands are full, you won't be able to give a proper handshake.

Dear Thelma: In your column discussing the differences between American and Continental dining styles, do the same rules apply to those who are left-handed or should one use the opposite hands?

Answer: As a left-handed person, hold your utensils in the opposite hands of those described previously for your right-handed dinner companion. That means hold the knife in your left hand, the hand with which you have the most control, and the fork in your right hand.

Also, if you are the host of a dinner out or of a dinner party at home and you know that a guest is left-handed, seat that person at the left corner of a table so that elbow bumping with a right-handed neighbor won't be a problem. If you're left-handed and invited to a dinner, it's fine to let the host know so that he or she can seat you most comfortably.

Handling things properly and good manners never go out of style.