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Dear Thelma: Pertaining to Christmas presents, is it necessary to send written thank-you notes to those with whom you've exchanged gifts and thanked in person? I always write them to those who ship gifts as they were not here in person to see them opened and receive thanks.

Answer: No, you aren't required to write thank-you notes to people who have seen you open the gift and been thanked immediately in person. However, while it isn't required, you may do so if you want to add to your spoken sentiment. People feel especially appreciated when they receive a thoughtful note in addition to a verbal thank you.

If you receive a gift in the mail, call the sender promptly so they know the item they purchased and shipped has arrived safely. A written thank-you note should be sent quickly as well.

Notes handwritten in ink on a beautiful card or nice piece of stationery come across as extra-special in our age of communication technology. The extra time and effort taken to write and mail a note will surely be noticed. However, don't put off sending your thanks if you can't make it to a card shop. Someone you communicate with regularly by e-mail will appreciate hearing your thanks in that medium too.

Dear Thelma: In line at a store, I was privy to a cell phone conversation involving raised voices and foul language. It was very disturbing. I was ready to put my purchases down and leave the store. What is the appropriate way to handle such a situation?

Answer: The least gracious and possibly the most unsafe thing to do is to elevate the situation by causing a confrontation between you and the person who has offended you.

If you feel you must intervene, start by contacting the store manager or other personnel and ask that person to speak with the cell-phone offender.

If that's not possible and you feel compelled to intervene personally, place special attention on what you say and to your tone of voice. With a calm voice and a friendly face you might say, "Excuse me, I can't help overhearing your conversation. Would you be able to lower your voice?"

If the person has an interest in graciousness and simply let himself or herself get caught up in the conversation, he or she may honor your request. However, be prepared for the fact that some people don't understand or don't care about phone boundaries or manners and may ignore your request or even lash out at you. Respond graciously by simply leaving the situation as best and as quickly as you can.