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Dear readers: Recently I went to the pharmacy in a hurry. I took out my wallet and left my handbag in the car.

When I stepped out of the store, my car was in full view and I saw a woman standing next to it. Her ragged clothes and unkempt look startled me, and I didn't want her near my car. She caught my glance and motioned me over with a wave of her hand.

On my guard, I approached her and she said to me: "I don't want you to be concerned about me, but I saw that your car was unlocked and I saw two men walking around it. I noticed your purse inside thought I should stay nearby."

Well, I thanked her for her kindness, but felt terrible about the prejudgments I had made. While we do have to be cautious in our current times and protect our selves and our property, we must also take time to assess before leaping to conclusions.

The dictionary defines prejudgment as the act of judging a person, issue or case before sufficient evidence is available. Are we really aware of how much we prejudge people or situations even of the most innocent and simple kinds? Negative prejudgments often are made in working and family relationships and in friendships.

When we prejudge, we place a label on a person. Often times, that label prevents us from clear communication, causing us to focus on the label rather than on the content of a conversation. None of us is free of this and it's something we can work to avoid if we seek healthy communication as a part of our lives.

Dear Thelma: What would you suggest is the appropriate response to a child who has not received a card or gift, much less a phone call, from their biological mother during the holiday?

Answer: I would say that this is a time to avoid prejudgment.

Children have a great capacity to love and to forgive, if we allow them to use it. By keeping our own prejudgments about the situation or the person to ourselves, we can help that child to preserve the good feelings he or she has concerning that important relationship.

You don't say that the child is upset about this situation, only that he or she may need an explanation. I would suggest a response like this: "For some reason your mom hasn't been able to contact you. We don't know why that is, but we have to keep in mind what we do know, and that is that you love each other. We'll hope together that you do hear from her soon."

Like preserving good relationships, good manners never go out of style.