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Tips for brides looking for the dress

Passages: The hatchings, matchings and dispatchings of our lives

By Gail Rubin
Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Phillips grasps extra fabric to see how a possible selection might look after alterations.

Photo by Steven St. JohnTribune

Tribune

Phillips grasps extra fabric to see how a possible selection might look after alterations.

Bride-to-be Robyn Phillips tries on a potential wedding dress with help from Special Moments Bridal Boutique owner Jessica Grandia. With help from her mother and several friends, she eventually chose a $650 version.

Photo by Steven St. JohnTribune

Tribune

Bride-to-be Robyn Phillips tries on a potential wedding dress with help from Special Moments Bridal Boutique owner Jessica Grandia. With help from her mother and several friends, she eventually chose a $650 version.

Smart Box

In 1840, when Queen Victoria married Prince Albert of Saxe, she sacked tradition and wore a white gown (then symbolizing wealth) rather than blue (then symbolizing purity). By the turn of the century, her choice was all the rage.

Source: www.AdvantageBridal.com

Perfect Day, Perfect Dress

Jessica Grandia, owner of Special Moments Bridal Boutique, and Liz Mortensen, owner of I Do, I Do! Bridal & Formal Fashions, offer the following tips on choosing a wedding gown:

Shop early in the wedding-planning process. It takes three months to have a gown made to order, plus time for alterations. A six-month lead is preferable.

Be prepared to pay half up front. Deposits are non-refundable. A traditional gown with train averages $600 to $700 in New Mexico.

Don't expect to wear white. It's very difficult to work with. Ivory is softer and looks good on most complexions.

Strapless support is crucial. Have the cups sewn into the dress or get a properly fitting full-length bra. "A plain strapless bra will wind up at your waist within 10 minutes," said Grandia.

Double-stick tape is your friend. It can attach the bodice to chest very effectively.

Strapless styles can chafe. The first hour is okay, but as the reception goes on, decorative beading under the arms can actually cause bleeding. Protect sensitive skin with liquid Band-Aid or actual bandages applied under the arms after the ceremony.

Do alterations a month before the big day. You don't want to be stressing about finishing the dress with all the other wedding things to worry about.

Wear the shoes and bras to be worn for the ceremony to the alteration session. "Gowns are made for a five-foot, ten-inch tall woman. You almost always have to have alterations and you want to get it right," said Mortensen.

Get an appropriate train length. Train lengths range from brushing (good for an outdoor wedding) to chapel, church, cathedral, and royal (as in Princess Diana's gown). A long train can be gathered into a bustle or the bride can change into a different dress for the reception.

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This is a tale of two mothers and daughters engaged in an act that is all about dreaming, bonding and stressing. They're shopping for wedding gowns.

Robyn Phillips was in the Special Moments Bridal Boutique on a snowy Saturday with a girlfriend, because Mom couldn't make it down from the Heights that day. After trying on eight dresses, she would come back next weekend to decide on the top four with Mom. She's planning an intimate July wedding at the Casas de Suenos bed and breakfast with 60 guests.

"Organza, taffeta, oh God, I have a lot of things to learn," said Phillips, 32, a sales manager at the Hyatt. She's leaning toward a strapless gown, but something romantic, too.

"I'm a T-shirt-and-jeans kind of girl," Phillips said. "I read a lot of 12th and 13th century novelists, my Mom is English and I've spent time in England, but I want to reflect a Southwest influence, too. I don't want to buy a dress that's a thousand dollars, but I don't want to be cheap."

Dress No. 1 was strapless and simple; it looked good and felt comfortable.

"That's it, we're done," she said.

But there were seven other dresses to try.

Beaded bodices, waist-enhancing chiffon skirts, shoulder straps, layers of ruffles evocative of a flamenco dress, white versus ivory - there was so much to consider.

The comments flew: "I like this a lot." "Oh, I like this one, too." "This is more gown-ey." "This helps show off `the girls' well." "This is fun!"

"Wedding gown shopping is playing dress-up for adults," said Jessica Grandia, owner of Special Moments. "This is a great business; I get to work with happy people. If they're not happy when they walk in, I try to make them happy by the time they leave."

That same day, a few blocks away at I Do, I Do! Bridal and Formal Fashions, Kay Carter, 50, came in with her daughter Krystal Barb, 28, but it was Mom who was shopping for a wedding dress. Kay is marrying her high school sweetheart, after both had married other people, had kids, and divorced. With a cruise-based wedding coming up in March, she's looking to buy something in stock, as there isn't enough time to order a dress.

Carter favored strapless styles with beaded bodices. Staring at her reflection, she mused, "I have no chest. Krystal got those genes from her Dad. This isn't too old-looking is it?"

Krystal assured her mother she looked fine.

It's amazing how much emphasis is placed on busts and cleavage in wedding wear.

"We're talkin' boobs all day," said Liz Mortensen, owner of I Do, I Do!, who made suggestions for enhancements and support systems.

Of the five dresses she tried on, Carter selected an ivory gown with a beaded bodice and satin beaded border along the hem. It will be perfect with some alterations to shorten the length. The dress had been discontinued, so she got a great deal at $100, plus alteration costs. Mission accomplished.

"Finding the perfect dress the first time out is not unusual," Mortensen said. "I had one bride come in with her parents. Her dad picked out a dress, she burst into tears when she saw herself in it, and they bought it on the spot."

But that's not everyone's experience. The next Saturday, Robyn Phillips was back at Special Moments with her mother, Lee Richmond, 58, and another friend to take photos. They had shopped at David's Bridal earlier in the week, but didn't see anything they liked and wanted to support a local business.

"When I started this process, I was thinking `simple, simple,' but now I'm thinking, `It's my wedding, I'll do what I want," Phillips said.

Phillips showed off the top four candidates from the previous Saturday. Of the simple strapless gown with beaded border, Mom said, "I like the sweep-y skirt, but it's not you." The second gown with a beaded overlay and long beaded train got a big "ooh!" from the group when the train was bustled up. Of the third gown, tea-length and beaded all over with a brushing-length train, Mom said, "I like that one Robyn, it's very Spanish."

But dress No. 4, a Jasmine Collection design with shoulder straps, layers of chiffon ruffles and a rhinestone brooch at the waist, was the winner.

"I really like it," Richmond said. "You see dresses like that in Europe."

When Phillips swept up her hair to see how it would look, Richmond said, "Ooh, you look like your Auntie Saundra."

Upon selection, a chorus of "Yay!" went up all around.

With three other brides in the shop that morning vying for attention, Phillips said she would come back during the week to get measured and put a deposit on the $650 dress. Shop owner Grandia told her to get the shoes she would wear so the measurements would be accurate.

"Oh, boy, time to go shoe shopping!" chirped Phillips.

One mission accomplished, so many more to go.

Rubin, author of "A Girl's Pocket Guide to Trouser Trout," is writing a how-to book on creating memorable life cycle events.