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Dear Thelma: The state of New Mexico recently enacted legislation making the bolo tie the state's official tie. I might consider wearing one, but I have many questions, including when and how to wear it, and is it acceptable with a dress suit?

Answer: Wearing your bolo tie in New Mexico and Arizona (where it is also the official state neckwear) can be done with confidence as our Southwestern roots find their way into our fashion. Now that it is New Mexico's state tie, I believe New Mexicans have even more liberty to wear it many places.

At a recent formal, Western-themed social event I attended in Santa Fe, men in sharp dress suits wore the bolo tie at the top of the collar, where the knot of a traditional tie would be.

While legislators might be able to wear bolo ties during their official duties, other men might need to check with their company dress codes. Also, use your common sense. If dress outside the traditional, conservative norms would detract from the business at hand, then save the bolo tie for social events.

Outside the Southwest, men will need to look at local customs and attire to determine whether a bolo tie would be appropriate. Worn at the wrong place at the wrong time, it might relegate you to the fringes.

Dear Thelma: This is regarding your "potluck wedding" invitation column.

I have presided over the wedding of friends who had a potluck reception. It was one of the more enjoyable and relaxing weddings I have been to. A wedding is a creation of a family, and families eat together. They pitch in and help one another. What better way to celebrate than to bring food and enjoy it with your friends.

Maybe I am old-fashioned, or just an old hippie, but eating in a hotel ballroom is not my idea of a healthy environment. All I can think of is how much debt is there going to be when this is over.

Answer: A potluck supper among friends is a perfectly fine way to celebrate any occasion. the key word being "friends." If everyone invited to the wedding is a friend who the hosts would ask to attend a potluck at their home, then most of the guests will feel as you do.

However, most weddings include some people you'd like to honor with an invitation but whom you might not be very close to. They are those who will wonder at the honor of a potluck invitation.