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Dear Thelma: My son is getting married in April 2008. Both he and his fianc‚e will be moving to London after the wedding and will live there for two years. They are selling most of what they have here in Iowa, including their condo.

What should we do about wedding gifts? They both have good jobs and are financially fine, but they'd like to request money for wedding gifts for convenience's sake. They just don't know where they are going to end up in two years because of business reasons.

What are your thoughts on this, please?

Answer: Giving money as a wedding gift has become commonplace throughout much of the country. It is a fine way to present your good wishes to a couple and help them start a nest egg or travel or purchase what they want and need.

However, couples and their families must understand it is not appropriate to include their wishes for cash in their invitations.

Invitations are meant to request the honor of your presence, not to tell you what we expect out of your attendance. While gifts are customary, they are not mandatory.

The quandary becomes how do the couple let people know their preference?

The best way is through parents or members of the bridal party who will be asked where the couple are registered. The answer can be: They are registered at ABC Store, but I know that because they are moving to London they are hoping to move as few items as possible. They are saving up to buy what they need when they get there.

Because many people don't feel comfortable giving money as a gift, our son and his bride should register, thinking carefully as they do so about what they'd enjoy having in London with them or what might be particularly useful to them as they move or travel.

Dear Thelma: If a couple are married and the wife outranks the husband, how are they addressed? Is it Mr. and Mrs. or Mrs. and Mr.?

Answer: Mr. and Mrs. are social titles and don't indicate any sort of rank.

They are always listed as Mr. and Mrs., as in Mr. and Mrs. Jerry Alexander.

However, if the couple choose to use military, professional or elected titles, the person of higher rank or the person using a title is listed first. Examples include Col. Marissa O'Neill and Maj. Dominic O'Neill, Dr. Isabella Witt and Mr. Justin Witt, and Sen. Christina James and Mr. David James.