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Talking to a couple of female friends in Albuquerque regarding the spate of rapes and sexual assaults in Santa Fe has been a sobering reminder about this issue for those of us in Albuquerque.

The impact on any community can be jolting. It so happens that this issue has been coming to my attention long before Santa Fe made the papers. It was feeling like another one of those mysterious bubbles that can happen for unexplainable reasons.

At least that's what my gut was telling me. A call to the Albuquerque Rape Crisis Center confirmed it.

"We've seen a significant increase in the last few months," said Executive Director Bette Fleischman. "On the average, we get about five calls a day, every day. But in March we saw a tremendous spike."

Five calls a day, every day of the year. That is stunning, considering how, as Fleischman reminds, the FBI considers that, for every rape reported, at least 10 are not.

The reasons for not reporting are varied and complicated, but perhaps the spike is a good sign of some sort, if there can be.

"We've done more outreach to let people know we're here, but when you see a jump like that, you never know," Fleischman said.

"The numbers are stunning. We get kids; we get everybody."

This issue of rape is beyond insanity. We all seem so stuck on this.

I talked to a friend who attended a meeting earlier this week held by Santa Fe officials, including the police. To him - yes, him - it boiled down to "dress carefully, walk with a purpose and keep your doors locked."

He was not happy, and I imagine this focus of putting the majority of the burden on potential victims themselves, intentionally or not, will not sit well with women, either.

Think about this: In many cases, Fleischman said, the victim has to return to the home or neighborhood where the rapist resides.

Yes, there are services for temporary shelter and the like, but what about those unreported cases?

In some cases, the trauma of rape results in drug abuse and suicide attempts.

"We all have to take responsibility for this," Fleischman said.

And that's the direction we need to take, an attitude of shared responsibility, particularly for men and boys. If there was anything positive in the conversation with Fleischman it's that there is a national trend moving - slowly - in this very direction.

"We go to schools starting at kindergarten, what is safe touch, that kind of thing," Fleischman said.

This makes good sense to me, knowing there will likely be some parents who'll wince at the very idea.

Even better is the Rape Crisis Center's "A Young Man's Project" for middle school and high school boys to start talking about attitudes and boundaries. And, believe this or not, the trend includes educating bystanders, a cut of this issue I've never considered.

It makes sense, given that most rapes happen from someone familiar to the victim, and familial and social circles are tied to that.

Fleischman, who has been at this for 30-plus years, has seen it all: from the youngest victim at 2 weeks of age who died from the trauma, to a woman in her 90s, raped in a nursing home.

"It hits everybody. It's unnerving, but our ultimate goal is to eliminate all sexual assault," she said.

There's been much progress for organizations like the Rape Crisis Center, primarily the city's Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners, who are the first to see a victim.

About 15 years in place, the program's designed so victims do not have to wait in an emergency room and, instead, can get treatment in a dignified and sensitive manner. They also collect evidence in case charges are filed, which can sometimes take a bit of time for the victim to choose to do.

But at the end of the day, let's not even begin to think this is a problem just for Santa Fe.