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A proud World War I veteran, my grandfather was so proud of his youngest son, Juan, who was born on Pearl Harbor Day.

Juan was blonde and striking, almost Kennedy-esque.

Uncle Juan left New Mexico at a young age for a modeling career in New York and later got into the bilingual publishing industry and settled in California.

Along the way he met his life partner, Ron, an anesthesiologist from Minnesota. Ron was tall and thin with a toothy smile and a great sense of humor.

After living together for almost two decades, Ron started showing signs of Parkinson's Disease. Watching Uncle Juan take care of Ron as he became more frail and more disoriented was difficult, but also incredibly moving. It was clear that Uncle Juan cared deeply for his life partner.

When Ron died, my Uncle Juan was devastated. But he couldn't have imagined the pain he would have to continue to endure from the medical and legal system after Ron died. At every step of the way, from arranging Ron's medical care, to making arrangements for his estate and funeral, Juan was hassled and harassed by doctors, lawyers and bureaucrats.

What my uncle went through is all too common for same-sex couples. Unless they have made exhaustive legal arrangements far in advance, same-sex couples are not given the right to visit their partner in the hospital, make arrangements when one of them dies or legally settle their financial affairs. Many lose their homes, their savings and their jobs because of the legal and financial hardships posed by not having the legal rights that opposite-sex couples have.

By law, married couples are entitled to more than 1,000 federal and state legal rights, including survivor's benefits, community property rights, tax benefits, child support and custody rights.

In contrast, same sex-couples in most states do not have the right to take sick leave to care for their partner, to make medical decisions for an incapacitated partner, to inherit an estate if a partner does not leave a will or to make funeral arrangements for their deceased partner.

In the current New Mexico legislative session, a domestic partner rights and responsibilities law - HB 603, modeled on a California law - could end this indignity. The proposed law would provide domestic partner rights and benefits, regardless of whether they are same sex. Gov. Bill Richardson, who rescued the bill from its near death in a Senate committee, said he will sign it.

With its passage, New Mexico would join the District of Columbia, Hawaii, Maine, and California in providing domestic partnership or reciprocal beneficiary laws that allow same-sex couples many of the rights that heterosexual couples enjoy.

While Uncle Juan and advocates here in New Mexico would like to someday see same-sex couples treated truly equally, the domestic partner bill would at least give them the right to care for their loved ones and be recognized for their commitment to a life partner. It is the least we can do for our own loved ones, like my Uncle Juan.

Griego is an Albuquerque columnist and former Albuquerque city councilor.