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I suppose hearing Teresa Tapia talk about the drug overdose of her husband, Johnny Tapia, could be seen a number of ways: insightful, painful and, for some, timely.

"The drugs need to be addressed," she told KOAT-Channel 7. "And if he's not willing to do that, then he's going to find himself a very lonely man."

Those are the words of a partner nearing rock bottom.

The tragedy of it all, including the death of her relative on his way to see the boxer in the hospital, was almost too much to witness.

Talking to experts on this issue of being the wife of an addict reveals how complicated it is. Toss in a famous - and infamous - partner, who is clearly not even close to being in control of his addiction, and you have to feel for her.

"Sometimes people get used to (another person's) addictive patterns," said Emily Kee, executive director of Aliviar Counseling Services. "They think, `I know how to work with the behavior and how to put that into my life and wait for it to stop.' "

Teresa Tapia sounds like a woman unwilling to wait any longer.

For a lot of men, the prospect of finding himself alone can be the turning point, but you can't help but wonder what Teresa Tapia has been dealing with all these years.

A conversation with Marge, who works for Al-Anon and prefers to go just by her first name, was revealing. And painful to consider.

"One of the tendencies in families is to isolate themselves and show a good front to society. But they become withdrawn, angry, bewildered and don't know what to do," she said.

"They obsess on the abuser instead of taking care of themselves."

Soft-spoken and reflective, Marge has seen a lot in 21 years of working with the spouses of addicts, but sees the Teresa Tapia situation as something else altogether.

"She has the added problem of being his manager. It must be a really, really great burden. I was thinking of that when I saw the news the other night and her being in that hotel room (where her husband overdosed).

"We try to be strong and handle it ourselves, but eventually something gives."

This month, HBO has been running a series called "Addiction" that has included the insights of Robert J. Meyers, a research associate professor of psychology at the University of New Mexico's Center on Alcoholism, Substance Abuse and Addictions. He has written a book, "Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading and Threatening."

He shed some light on the scope of the burden Teresa Tapia has been dealing with as the wife of a celebrity who is away from home a lot of time.

"What I think the problem is for someone married to a personality like a movie star or a Johnny Tapia is all this external pressure which is hard to handle," Meyers said. "All those people who want to party, it's hard to say no.

"The spouse is out of the picture a lot of times to say, `Johnny, it's time to leave.' "

No doubt Teresa Tapia has made a lot of her own mistakes along the way. Threatening to leave may be another one, in fact, but how can anyone blame her?

If she's never gotten the tools she's needed to deal with an addict, she is not alone. What all the experts share is a frustration of focusing on the addict and almost none on spouses.

"We spend millions on treatment for people who are ambivalent at best on getting sober, but almost no money on the family member programs to help prevent a relapse or their children becoming addicts," Meyers said.

For those I spoke with in the business of addiction, the words of Teresa Tapia have rung loud. There's a palpable sense of relief and gratitude that she somehow finally found the strength to speak out so forcefully. Whether what she has now said will be the key to turn Johnny Tapia around remains an open question. In any case, Teresa Tapia finds herself now an unwitting spokesperson for women silently fighting the same battle.