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I already have two dogs, but I feel the need to adopt a primate after watching the documentary show, "Orangutan Island" (6:30, 9:30 p.m., Animal Planet).

Orangutans are just so darn cute that I must have one immediately, if not sooner.

I'm sure they're readily available on the Craigslist or eBay.

The little guys totally need a place to crash because their habitat in Borneo is threatened by illegal logging, leaving hundreds of orangutan babies orphaned and homeless.

A few of these "children of the forest," through a project led by Lone Droscher-Nielsen and her team, are doing OK and living wild on a protected island.

The show follows this group as they forage for food, avoid predators and just try to get along with one another.

It's kinda cool watching the orangutans form their own hairy society. They're confined to an island where they need to learn to live together in a very small space.

Like any roommate situation, their tight quarters lead to battles for dominance.

There's certainly evidence of that in tonight's episode.

Chen Chen becomes anxious and asserts his dominance by brutally attacking the sweet but needy Cha Cha.

Daisy, the toughest orangutan on the planet, rescues her best friend, but Cha Cha is still so messed up from the encounter that she flees deep into the forest

OK, Chen Chen is way off the potential adoption list.

I love Will Ferrell.

When that man takes a humiliating role, he commits to it with every crazy bone in his big body.

It's too bad that even he can't save "Kicking and Screaming" (7 p.m., TBS).

This 2005 comedy stars Ferrell as Phil Weston, a very, very unathletic man. It seems that he has passed that trait on to his 10-year-old son, Sam (Dylan McLaughlin).

Sam is riding the bench on the best soccer team in the league, which is coached by Phil's father, Buck (Robert Duvall).

Buck has been competitive his whole life, and for him winning is everything. Sam's not helping Buck win, so Buck trades him to the last-place Tigers team.

Then the coach of the Tigers quits, and Phil becomes the new coach despite his lack of sports knowledge or ability.

Phil gets some help in the form of Mike Ditka of the Chicago Bears, which is when things really start to get out of control.

Ditka recruits players like he's still in the NFL, and while it's so not good for the peewee players, it's excellent for putting check marks in the win column.

Goal!