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The last midnight bullet from a semi-automatic weapon has fallen to earth in my South Valley for another year, meaning only one thing: New Year's resolutions.

Now, some are resolutions-snobs, dismissing the concept on evidence that only 0.2 percent of resolutions stick. Snobs not only disdain resolutions but seem to think resolution-makers are less intelligent.

Well, if it involves being considered less intelligent, sign me up. I not only make resolutions at the New Year but also two or three iron-clad declarations of life-improvement a week. Almost all, of course, are broken only hours later.

"Studies show" - and, yes, that means I am making this up - resolutions are helped by stating them to a large audience. It would be crass to bring up current circulation figures at your Albuquerque Tribune, but suffice it to say the number is still larger than that of my household - one wife, two dogs, three cats. Hence, it would be a smashing idea to state a few resolutions here, if for no other reason than that a larger number of snobs can point out when they are broken.

Here are a few of my resolutions:

Start to care about the 2008 presidential election.

I'm a politics junkie, but, as a strong proponent of the 90-day campaign idea, nothing sobers me up like C-SPAN taping Mitt Romney before a Rotary Club audience of seven at Denny's in snowy Cedar Rapids, 11 months before Election Day.

Now it's Iowa caucus time, and it's getting a tiny bit closer to my 90-day window of actually caring.

Rename the strip mall at the corner of Isleta and Arenal as "Las Tiendas de Nob Hill."

If a new strip mall at the corner of San Mateo and Lomas can call itself "The Shops at Nob Hill," my South Valley can use the Nob Hill brand, too.

Create an Ethiopian restaurant in Albuquerque.

I'm not a cook, know nothing about Ethiopian cuisine other than I like it, and I have no money. Still, I resolve this town will have an Ethiopian restaurant by the end of 2008, at which will play the utterly fantastic, 23-volume music series "Ethiopiques." Heck, forget the injera bread - let's just have a place to go hear "Ethiopiques" on a continuous loop. It's that good.

Drive exactly the speed limit in the interstate left lane.

The bicycling group Critical Mass has a bunch of cyclists ride together, slowing traffic, to build awareness about road-sharing. I resolve to extend the concept by having a cadre of drivers who do nothing but drive down I-25 and I-40 at exactly 55 mph or 65 mph in the fast lane. I also resolve to buy an Abrams tank capable of going the speed limit, for obvious health reasons.

Stop laughing at the Albuquerque Board of Education.

Really, they're doing the best they can. And as a teacher, my laughter quickly turns into bitter rage, and where's the fun in that? I resolve instead to greet each statement by board members such as Robert Lucero with a friendly chuckle and an "Oh! That Robert Lucero!"

Given my track record, it's a good bet none of these resolutions will stick, but Number Five will doubtlessly be hardest to keep.

Best of luck to all who resolve. May our success rate be more than 0.2 percent.